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He looks deep into the vestibule.
There smoke from our cigarettes.
– I can not forget about this terrible box that we carry with me! He is constantly before my eyes! – he whispers these words, but it seems to me that he cries, – If I could forget about him! If it was not! But you can’t fix anything.

Nothing.
Why is life such a shit? Why is everything always against us? Why should I carry this damn box, this death? I’m an ordinary guy, just like you.
What is all of this for us? For what ? For what ?! I have nothing to answer him.
If i knew.
Around us – darkness, some kind of darkness.
We are still here in the cold, smelly, smoky hallway of a train hurrying to Moscow.
We both drown in a gray, caustic tobacco smoke.
We seemed to get lost in the fog.
And there is no one to bring us.

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I close my eyes.
Strange state of bifurcation.
When it seems that you are not quite you.
And something immeasurably greater, unfamiliar, distant.
This makes it scary.
All feelings are naked.
This pain is hard to describe.
And the hopelessness of the surrounding only multiplies it.
– How nice that you went with me, – I feel how Sergey’s heavy hand rests on my shoulder and this touch again pulls me out of the sticky syrup of madness.
I’m trying to smile at him.
A smile probably goes away pathetic.
– Do you want me to get vodka? – suddenly a thought comes to my mind.
– What for ? Let’s be like a midshipman, get drunk to insensitivity? – No, not for that.
“Then why?” – Remember.
The end of the phrase is stuck in my throat.
I can’t say it.
I try and I can not.
Here Sergey’s look clears up.

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From foggy and detached it turns into sharp and hard.
– Forgive me ! – this was already said in a firm voice, – Of course, we must remember Slavik.
How can I not myself.
And where do we get vodka? – I will find.
Will you wait here? – Yes.
But if you want – go with you.
– Not.
Not necessary.
I myself.
I quickly.
– Okay.
I get up and go to the door of the car.
Before I open it, I turn to Sergei.
He stands by the wall and looks out the window.
In the very black void where I looked before it.
I have a feeling of deja vu.
As if Sergey now is myself.
So strange it all.
But as soon as I stepped out of the heavy twilight of the vestibule into the warm and light corridor of the car, this feeling immediately disappeared.
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